Funemployed
$LAIDOFF Join
Introducing

Funemployed.

The AI didn't take your job.
It made your job optional.
There's a difference.
We're choosing to find it funny.

Buy $LAIDOFF Learn more ↓
A calmly laid off figure holding a box with a small plant.

Available now. Whether you like it or not.

The Explainer

You didn't lose your job. You were liberated from it.

The distinction matters.
One is a tragedy.
The other is a pivot.
We are pivoting.

A comparison between employed and funemployed life.

Before. And After.

There was a time when you had a job title, a desk, and a Slack status that said "In a meeting" for 6 hours a day. That time produced value for shareholders. This time produces something harder to quantify. Freedom, technically. The jury is deliberating on whether freedom pays rent.

A robot replacement working at a desk while a former employee watches.

Meet Your Replacement.

It doesn't need health insurance. It doesn't need a 1:1 with its manager. It doesn't need the manager. It works at 3am without complaining about work-life balance because it has no life to balance. It is, by every measurable metric, better at your job than you were. We are choosing not to take this personally.

A crossroads between the office and funemployment.

The Pivot.

The briefcase is still on the ground. Something is growing out of it. You didn't plan this. Nobody plans this. But the hammock is there, the crossroads has been reached, and the office door is still technically an option. Nobody is choosing the office door. $LAIDOFF is the other door. It doesn't have a job description. It has a ticker.

The companies that built the tools that took the jobs are worth a combined $12 trillion. The people whose jobs were taken are worth $LAIDOFF. We think this is funny. We also think it's accurate.
The Numbers

Staggering. In the clinical sense.

These are real numbers.
We wish they weren't.
We're building a token on them anyway.

A long line of laid off workers holding office boxes.
0
tech jobs lost in 2023 alone
0
layoffs since 2022
$0
combined value of companies doing it
0
times they apologized

A partial list of contributors to the Funemployed ecosystem.

Sorted by audacity.

META

moved fast. broke people's careers.

21,000
laid off

AMAZON

same day delivery. next day unemployment.

27,000
laid off

GOOGLE

don't be evil. be efficient.

12,000
laid off

MICROSOFT

empowering every person. fewer of them now.

13,000
laid off

SHOPIFY

we built the future of commerce. you were the past.

10,000
laid off

SALESFORCE

customer success. employee optional.

8,000
laid off

TWITTER/X

everything app. everyone gone.

6,000
laid off

INTEL

intel inside. staff outside.

15,000
laid off

CISCO

the bridge to the future had a weight limit.

4,000
laid off

SPOTIFY

we had a podcast for everything. including severance.

1,500
laid off

TESLA

the future of energy. fueled by departures.

14,000
laid off

OPENAI

building AGI. for everyone. except the people we let go.

classified
laid off
*numbers approximate. the feeling is exact.
Layoffs by year climbing into a broken 2026 column. An office building mostly dark except for one occupied light.

the trajectory. it only goes one direction.

the building. one light on. it's not yours.

Opportunities

We found some openings.

The market is competitive.
The candidates are overqualified.
The positions are available immediately.

*no positions are AI-proof
Showing 8 of 847,293 results

Fry Cook — Night Shift Lead

McDonald's Corporation
Full Time Immediate Start Benefits (Eventually)
$14 - $16/hr
ABOUT THE ROLE: We are seeking a motivated individual to join our high-velocity kitchen operations team in a fast-paced, results-driven environment. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Manage the full lifecycle of potato products from raw to plated — Drive synergies between the fryer and the heat lamp — Facilitate cross-functional collaboration with the drive-through team — Deliver against aggressive targets of 3 minutes per order REQUIREMENTS: — Previous experience in a fast-paced environment (preferred) — Strong communication skills — Ability to stand for 8 hours — No prior fry cook experience necessary — we will provide full training in 2 hours ABOUT US: McDonald's is a global leader in quick service restaurant innovation. We recently implemented AI-powered order taking. The fry cook position has not been automated yet. We wanted to be transparent about the word "yet."
ABOUT THE ROLE: We (you) are seeking a creative self-starter to manage the Instagram presence of our dog, Biscuit. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Daily content production featuring Biscuit — Caption writing that captures Biscuit's authentic voice — Community management responding to "awww" comments — Brand partnership outreach to dog food companies — Reporting on reach, engagement, and whether Biscuit is having his moment REQUIREMENTS: — Comfort working without pay during the brand-building stage — Strong understanding of audience growth, basic lighting, and emotional self-deception — Willingness to describe a dog's Tuesday as "behind the scenes" ABOUT US: This role offers complete flexibility, unlimited upside in theory, and full ownership of your schedule because no one else is asking for it.
ABOUT THE ROLE: Several companies would like candidates to continue interviewing with humans for branding reasons. You would be that human. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Sit in a chair while an AI assesses another AI-generated resume — Nod thoughtfully at keywords like "ownership" and "cross-functional" — Ask one behavioral question that changes nothing — Maintain the illusion that a person still has final say REQUIREMENTS: — Face — Broadband — The emotional resilience to hear "we've decided to move forward with automation" ABOUT US: We preserve ceremonial humanity inside machine-led systems. Think of us as the cathedral staff of software.
ABOUT THE ROLE: Your consulting background has prepared you for this. Not practically. Spiritually. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Build a direct-to-consumer beverage brand with one folding table — Reframe underemployment as founder energy — Manage procurement, pricing, cash flow, and your own dawning awareness — Tell friends you are "testing demand" REQUIREMENTS: — Laptop — Mild sun tolerance — Ability to call a handwritten sign a go-to-market asset ABOUT US: We believe every layoff contains a seed round if you lower your standards far enough.
ABOUT THE ROLE: We are seeking a polished professional who can fold denim with the authority of someone who once approved budgets. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Deliver white-glove customer service beside a rack of discounted quarter-zips — Translate your previous leadership experience into locating medium sizes — Maintain sales floor presentation and inner composure — Gently stop saying "stakeholders" REQUIREMENTS: — Prior experience surviving all-hands meetings — Ability to stand for extended periods — No visible contempt for the soundtrack ABOUT US: Retail is one of the last sectors where saying "circle back" still sounds threatening.
ABOUT THE ROLE: You will review prompts written by people trying to replace the people who used to write prompts. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Identify when "make it sound more human" has become a cry for help — Evaluate outputs for coherence, tone, and legal survivability — Escalate cases in which the model becomes more employable than the reviewer — Produce documentation no one reads until after launch REQUIREMENTS: — Strong writing instincts — A flexible relationship to irony — Capacity to remain calm when the model nails the assignment on the first try ABOUT US: This role may eventually be handled by a stronger prompt. We appreciate your professionalism during the transition.
ABOUT THE ROLE: We are archiving the physical artifacts of white-collar employment before they disappear into case studies. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Catalog keycards, coffee tumblers, and laptops that once had purpose — Lead tours through a reconstructed open-plan floor — Explain the concept of "commuting" to school groups — Keep one desk lamp on for dramatic effect REQUIREMENTS: — Gentle speaking voice — Familiarity with badge anxiety — Ability to say "this was called a quarterly review" without laughing ABOUT US: Our collection is permanent. The careers it represents were seasonal.
ABOUT THE ROLE: Our AI reads resumes. Your role is to explain why the candidate who spent 14 years building products is still a person. RESPONSIBILITIES: — Rewrite accomplishments into phrases an algorithm finds soothing — Convert substance into keywords — Detect when a career gap is actually a collapse of macroeconomic order — Upload. Retry. Reflect. REQUIREMENTS: — Functional empathy — Spreadsheet tolerance — Basic fluency in ATS superstition ABOUT US: We stand at the intersection of aspiration and machine sorting. Mostly the sorting.

Recent placements from the extended Funemployed pipeline.

A few success stories, if that word still applies.

A laid off Meta employee at a now hiring fast food counter.

from platform strategy to spatula operations.

A founder pivoting into a lemonade stand startup.

a lean startup. emphasis on lean.

A robot interviewing a human applicant.

the hiring manager feels strongly. it is made of aluminum.

The future of work is here. It just isn't work.

Buy the ticker. Join the support group. Call it a movement if that helps. The corporate ladder is now a conversation piece. We recommend monetizing the descent.

Acquire $LAIDOFF Review Openings